So here I am. 3 babies later, and I am possibly in the worst shape of my life. Yes, you heard me....I am a HOT MESS. And I am ready to do something about it. I plan to blog as much as possible throughout my lifestyle change in case anyone wants to read about my journey and as a way to document it for myself because this is going to be fun. :)
My main reason for not being at the gym on a treadmill is GUILT. Yes, you heard me. It is not due to lack of desire to get back in my size 8 jeans, or the rush I feel and miss so much after a good workout, or just pure laziness...its guilt. How can I, a full time working mom, possibly take one hour out of our night to go to the gym? I would feel SO bad leaving the kids to go do something for me.... Is it really necessary to go TONIGHT when I should be playing legos with Noah? Bathing Lincoln? Watching youtube with Brandon? How can I go to the gym for an hour when I feel bad just running to Jewel for lunch meat alone? Anyone relate?
Today I met with a trainer at XSport and talked to her about this a little. I was just cleared (for the 3rd time since having Lincoln-keep being told I cant work out then can, cant then can) to workout again. I discussed how there was somewhat of relief after my Doc would say.....ummmm lets hold off again for awhile. Why? well, because THEN I wouldn't have to do what I felt was picking between myself and the kids. She said something that really made sense: The best thing you can do for your family is get healthy. If you are not healthy, who is going to be there for them when you are too sick to, and who is going to show them what healthy means? It made PERFECT sense.
So here we are. I am ready for more energy and to just feel strong again. I feel really "outta whack" and I am sick of it. The most important thing I want to share is that I see far too many women base goals on the achievements of others. Who the hell cares if Suzy Sunshine just got a personal best on her marathon.... yay for her for doing an amazing job but should THAT be what drives women to do better for themselves? Your goals and motivation need to come from you and what you want to do. It is not about "one upping" Suzy...ONE UP YOURSELF FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!
Love your blog, girl!.... Its crazy, because I can relate! In fact, I just realized how much guilt I've been feeling a few months ago... such a strange emotion! I look forward to keeping up with your spiffy little page.... good luck with your goals- youre going to rock it!
ReplyDelete:) I stuggled myself in training for the competition with trying to find balance between work, school, hubby, and household duties....I can't imagine adding full time parenting responsibilities into the mix!! I probably would have gave up....there were many times when I wanted to quit anyways! But I didn't, and im going to do it again, hoping to come in in even better shape.
ReplyDeleteKudos to you for meeting with a trainer and realizing you need to take care of yourSELF too, and be healthy. If you wont, who will? Let me know if you need anything!!